“How big is your infestation?” Are these not some of the scariest words you might ever hear?
“It could have qualified as an eleventh plague” I reply into the phone, “There is a cloud of biblical proportions everywhere I go.”
Then Mike, the chatty bug expert, walks me through the entire life cycle of this particular species of gnat, commonly known as a fruit fly. Being early fall, you might be well acquainted with them, too?
Mike brightly details everything I would never-ever-really-want-to-know about gnats. I listen raptly, stunned really, because he obviously delights in this amazing work of understanding what motivates all manner of insects. The phone call lasts 50 minutes.
After a slew of investigative questions such as “Do any of your oranges have green fuzz on them?” and “Do you happen to have an apple orchard outside your kitchen window?” as well as plenty of unrelated personal stories, he unearths my problem.
Compost gone wrong.
Much to my family’s olfactory chagrin, I have had good intentions about starting a compost pile for a long time. This means, I’ve been non-stop talking about, researching, and even collecting the daily peels and grounds. All good, except I haven’t actually dug the “official” compost hole to hold the bounty.
See where this is going?
Not wanting to waste even the teensiest bit of precious organic matter, (“What’s that you hold there, child? A sesame seed? Half a raisin found on the floor? Into the compost!”) I’ve been hoarding piles of organic rot outside the back door, because I was eventually going to produce the most glorious compost matter known to man.
This latest endeavor to deal thoughtfully with our earth has been a dud with the smaller farm hands.
“This is really gross, mom.”
Can I blame them for not embracing the ideal of composting when they must currently pass through the overwhelming stench several times each day to put on their shoes?
But I try…
“Oh, hey kiddos! Let’s lug this garbage way out back there. See that hole in the far field that mom dug all by herself? No, past that field…the next one over. Just you wait and see how cool this will be! You’ll help me dump all this stinky trash in, and then it’s going to get all hot and then rot! Then, you can assist me in turning it all over with a shovel once in a while and THEN you can help me spread it all over the vegetable garden! Organic broccoli and Brussel sprouts! Isn’t that great?!”
I must say their gag reflexes work beautifully.
So it was a solitary effort on a Sunday afternoon that I took my shovel to a sunny spot behind the car port to dig, and to think happy thoughts.
One day, I realize anew, I will return to the earth.
While somewhat sobering, and something I don’t usually bring up at parties, this is the most powerful anti-venom I have found to ungratefulness, pride and depression. When I remember that I will one day return to the earth, a strong heart and mind response is in order.
Each hour I am given today has been granted by my Maker. Not only that, but those given hours are pressing me on toward real life, or death.
Death = lots of minutes, hours, days strung together without thought of our loving Maker and lots of anxious thoughts that I can make or break myself and plan my future.
Life = even one second (imagine an hour, a day, a life?) where I remember I have a loving Maker who shapes and makes me, and carries me along in his good and perfect will.
I choose life.
My last given breath will be an adios to decay and a leap into a vivid, growing life where nothing need die in order that something fruitful may live. Until then, I want to remember more often that I have been made for something, thanks be to God.
Gnats, I now know thanks to my new best friend, Mike, are attracted to decaying things.
I wonder at the troubles, the worries, the distractions that hover around me in an irksome, awful cloud some days. What decay have they found? Where are they breeding? What can I do to be rid of them?
The real and spiritual tell-tale gnats pester me quietly until I can take it no more. They point to the death outside my door and in my inner spaces and it is enough to move me to action.
Dig and remember. Remember and give thanks.
I may have to work some more on the kids:)
16 responses to Everything you might never want to know (about gnats)
Love it Kim. It made me laugh then get verklempt (best way to say, ‘all choked up’!). So true. Thanks. Happy digging. Love from all of us Koehlers. 🙂
I love this very much!
I love this very much again!
I am about to go out into my garden to dig. Not on the scale you are, but enough to do on a very hot summers day, so I identify closely Kim. What a wonderful jog to the memory your gnat and the 11th plague thoughts brought to mind. MUCH to think about and a joy to read.
You are really confirming that composting is not for me! It did make me think of the gnats in my life and how I need to move the compost pile so they no longer fly near me.
Having had a home adjacent to fruit orchards I am aware of the “Fruit Fly Invasions” but never knew they were so beautiful My solution to the annoying little guys was to put a saucer of beer or cider vinegar out on the sink at night and in the morning I would find a bunch of them who failed floatation ready for fly heaven. Sad but necessary..Love reading your excerps of “motherly love” Kim. Feel blessed to get them……Auntie E
Sue – I know verklempt! We are children of SNL in the late eighties!
Thank you, again:)
Ahhhh, thank you dear Rosemary. I will never forget your incredible, beautiful gardens at the farm. Even as a young girl, I realized I was in a very special place. I am glad you are still in a garden:) Enjoy your labors today!
My friend – that was not my intent! Composting is for absolutely for you! They make these cool, urban, non-smelly composters that you would l-o-v-e:)
Thank you, Aunt E! Yes, I admit to being quite taken with their beauty up close. Thanks for the tip. I also discovered that a paper plate covered with Pam spray and waved madly about, seems to do the trick, too!
So true, like it a lot.
Hello Kim – we smile deeply reading of the newest adventure you have faced. Thank you. 🙂 It is positive beyond measure. JW & Lau
Thanks guys! I know you have lots of balls in the air. I am thinking of you…