Do We Really Need Them?

This little t-shirt is hanging in the young girl’s section of Target today.

What do you think?

It irks me, and I stop in front of the rack and say so.

“This really irks me.” I say, rather too loudly, according to my mortified children. As my family knows, I can occasionally get worked up about stuff like this.

“Take a chill pill, mom.” I can hear one of my kids hissing from down under. I can’t see any one of the four, they’ve all taken cover.

Not to put too sharp a point on it, but the underlying message on this little girl’s tee-shirt is deceit. I would like a young girl’s tee-shirt to rather say the following:

“It is only a confident young woman who appreciates, rather than belittles or envies, the God-given strengths of men. Wise women understand men add depth to any worthy endeavor. It is an assured woman, indeed, that will recognize how a man, because of his very maleness, will bring value and needed proportion to the table”

Yes, it would need to be very small print.

I pray earnestly for my sons to marry a woman who thinks this way. In her he will find a partner, a champion, a true equal, and someone who is really for him.

They’ll make a great team.

I pray to be this woman myself.  And I pray that by making a slight fuss in Target, my seven-year-old daughter will learn to think rightly and with good judgment, so it will go well for her.

If she desires respect from others, including boys and men, she must also actually give it.  

I hear that there is a war on women in our country? Puh-leez. Sisters, the war is not against us, it’s using us like pawns. Are we this insecure that we scorn a whole God-created sex in order to make us feel more confident in our own abilities? Can we be this paper-thin to denigrate Adam, so?

When I intentionally or thoughtlessly tarnish the shine of another, I am the one that eventually corrodes and erodes.

What good is it to imply or go along with the lie that we don’t need men?

Is this really what we know to be true, or is it a craving to be both man and woman, bowing to no one?  Clawing and yelping for respect, it seems we’d rather have our tongues cut out than use it to honor men.  And, in withholding respect where it is due, we chop ourselves off at the knees.

My mom used to say, “Kim, you’re cutting off your nose to spite your face” when I was being particularly stubborn or unreasonable (which I was often). Now I know what she meant.

I was hurting myself twice.

It matters little if I am married, single, or still very young. If I intentionally, or thoughtlessly, malign God’s men, his holy creation, I will diminish my own soul.

In edifying others, both male and female, we start to heal and shine.  In being hospitable to the strengths and mystery of our men and boys, I open to a deeper shalom and joy in who I’ve been designed to be.

Will my life bless or curse?

I most definitely can’t win by myself. Nor do I want to.

Peace to you, and all the men and boys God has put in your life.


6 responses to Do We Really Need Them?

  1. Anonymous says:

    LOVE THIS KIM….thanks for speaking TRUTH!! Love the pictures!!

  2. Anonymous says:

    I see a Christmas card photo for 2012. The expressions in the third picture are the best! Thanks for speaking out!

  3. Jason More says:

    Fantastic stuff! Praise God for His wisdom in creating male and female. May our culture know this truth that sets us free!

  4. Spaghetti says:

    I also take offense at the tshirt, but for very different reasons than you do. I take offense because the shirt takes a belittling tone toward boys for no reason. I don’t take offense at the underlying message: girls don’t need boys. Here’s what I believe:
    Girls don’t need boys. Boys don’t need girls. Humans need companionship, yes. After all, we are social animals. However, girls (and boys) can be full, complete people without a significant other in their lives. You say that a man should find a women who recognizes how valuable a man in her life will be, but you don’t say the reverse. From my reading of it, I’m hearing that a woman who roots for men is important for a man to find, but I’m not hearing how finding a man who roots for women is as important for a woman to find. This sounds like sexism, like you’re saying that women are only valuable additions to a man, and not important in their own right.

    I don’t scorn men. Feminism is not about scorning men. Feminism is about recognizing that men and women should be equal. If you believe that the wage gap (currently 77 cents to a dollar) shouldn’t exist, you are a feminist. Confident women should respect men, because men are fellow human beings. Confident women should also know that they don’t need men to be complete human beings.

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