A weight problem or a hate problem?

“Have you ever had a weight problem?” she asked me.

I’ve just encountered a woman half a generation older than I, radiating sunny vibes to every corner of the kitchen.  She is light in spirit, curious, and lively.  Turns out she has lost seventy pounds in the last year.  At first meeting she seems weightless and rooted; everything about her is open.

If there is one thing I recognize in those who are free, it is this ease and lightness of spirit; an unguarded interest in others.  If you are struggling to lose weight, or staggering under another kind of burden, I would bet this you is who you are trying to find again.

It gets so old fighting and flogging yourself; fencing yourself off from others.

The amount of women who hate themselves, whether overweight or pencil thin, is staggering.  Oh Kim, must you always be so dramatic?  Friends, I desire to be ever more dramatic on this subject: a women who hates herself is hard pressed to shine or warm.

I’ve heard it all so many times from people who know better: I hate my thighs.  I hate my stomach.  I hate my hair.  I hate my lack of control.  I hate myself.  Oh, such hatred for our own physical bodies; created with such care and called beautiful and good?  Where does this come from?

Not from God.

The Father of lies, the hater of God, also never sleeps!  He spins a sleek web of lies for women starting when we are very young.  Look how lovely God made her, he whispers. How fortunate she is.  Now, look at you, he sneers.  Don’t you just hate Him for that?

Burn in hell, liar.

Saints, we have been lured into the worst kind of web by the great deceiver: Look at your life, your body, and your burdens.  Are you still sure God is really good?  

What we have is not a weight problem, sisters, it’s a hate problem: we hate not being able to fix ourselves.  When I step into that silky trap, all my wild movement becomes wasted energy and only attracts hungry predators.  I grow weary, stuck, helpless: I’ve become the enemy’s lunch.

Do you know what God hates?

There are six things that the Lord hates,
     seven that are an abomination to him:
haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
    and hands that shed innocent blood,
 a heart that devises wicked plans,
     feet that make haste to run to evil,
a false witness who breathes out lies,
    and one who sows discord among brothers. (Proverbs 6:16-19)

Did you know that God hates with as much conviction as he loves?  He is anything but lukewarm or ho-hum in both his consuming love and hate.  He wants to take a holy broom to the enemy’s elaborate spiderweb: I am his and he is jealous for me.

God burns against those who would ensnare and devour his beloved people; who would smother joy and disfigure beauty.  And with equal passion, God readily rescues and restores with every ounce of himself.

He fulfills the desire of those who fear him;
    he also hears their cry and saves them.
The Lord preserves all who love him,
    but all the wicked he will destroy.  (Psalm 145)

Where is my joy?  Where is my hope?  You and I have been rescued, set free again, saints! And it is not a one-time rescue.  God does not tire of hearing my cry, saving me, and making me new: he is really, really Good.

He is also really near.  Wait for him, today.


4 responses to A weight problem or a hate problem?

  1. Nora E. says:

    What a beautiful post, Kim. I love reading your blog! Miss you.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Thanks again for your posts, Kim. Just beautiful. This was me! (closed up in my struggles and burdens … it still is sometimes when I am without Him). Prayers for a special Mother’s Day retreat to spread your peace and wisdom.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Written with examples of women’s concerns –
    but surely for all. Thank you Kim.

  4. V Rogan says:

    Love having you around Kim. Your posts are always awesomely thoughtful and encouraging.

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