One of the very best things about my mom is her vigorous and unflagging zeal to find the good in her people.
Another way of saying this is that my mother resolutely refuses to see anything but the finest and the best in those she loves, despite much evidence to the contrary. She cheers when the world boos. She stands up and applauds the effort even when her home team fumbles and drops the ball.
Well into adulthood I believed this was how all mothers were. Doesn’t every mom cheer madly from the sidelines? Don’t all moms write and speak words of affirmation over the people that they love? At the end of the day don’t all daughters come home to the warm encouragement and constant praise of a devoted mother?
Some of you reading this are laughing, and not in a good way. I must seem very naive. Because not every mother is as committed to discover the beauty and potential of her people as mine. In fact some are determined to unearth and broadcast every flaw and failure of those they claim to love.
I have learned from many of you over the years that some mothers have endured so much pain in their own life that they are not emotionally capable of considering you or any other. They don’t even show up to the game. I know some mothers are rarely satisfied; frequently disappointed; often critical, and sometimes disgusted. They seen unable to find even One Good Thing about their people that they can cheer. I know that it’s very possible many of you have never once felt your mother’s warm affirmation in a long, cold, season and this is a great grief to be mourned.
We only get one mom, and she is not guaranteed to be good. But God in his mercy did not leave the purpose of our lives entirely in the hands of our human mothers. Good mothers can nurture and bless the people in their care, but they can’t create a clean heart or melt a heart of stone. They can’t bring beauty from ashes. Only God can.
And absent, sad, angry, or selfish mothers can cause such pain, but they can’t steal what rightfully belongs to God: your life; your faith and hope, and your promised future. You are marked as Christ’s own – sealed with his spirit – and he is making you more and more alive to him and in him. Nothing can separate you from that divine and unapologetic love.
But God did give the world a taste of himself when he created a mother like mine. For her love gives a taste of the unwavering and unabashed kind of love that God has for his people.
For God loves his own with a zealous and unflagging energy, regardless of their sorry performance on life’s field. God’s affirmation of your worth – his emphatic pronouncement of love for you because you are his – will never cease. God’s intentions towards his people are resolutely and eternally for their growth and their good.
Today is my mom’s birthday. I’m so grateful for her exuberant life and her unapologetic love of me and so many she calls beloved. May God richly bless her as she walks in joy and faith into this next year ahead.
Peace to you and yours today,
Kim
Given Breath 
Happy birthday to that woman…Judy has been “mom” to people all over the world, and her influence in all of our lives is a testimony to her loving kindness. So beautiful, Kim. Would that we all take a good look at how we are viewed by our own daughters…I’m afraid I have come up terribly short. A good reminder that a legacy that wasn’t optimal can end anytime if we purpose for it to. Lord help us!
Thank you for this! Tell your mom from me: Thank you for a strong legacy she’s leaving for you, and me, a pilgrim who reads your messages and gets encouraged and inspired to leave marks of divine love everywhere too.
My mom was a taste of God’s unashamed Care and affection of our gracious Savior towards ALL. She went to heaven in 2002. We miss her greatly / often yet are way more grateful for the life we have to continue giving samples of Christ bc of who she was to us / her family and friends.:-)
God bless you and may he continue to give you His insight that is making a difference as you share it with us.
Your sister in Christ, Bethany
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Happy birthday to your loving mom It explains why you are who you are.
❤️Delia Sent from my iPhone
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Beautifully said, Kim! What a wonderful tribute to your mother! You are both so blessed!
I know your Mom and love her too. She’s an amazing, special woman of God.
Hello! I am a mother of four teenagers and have been on your email distribution list for years. I love your posts.
I have been struggling with this post, however. And thinking about it since reading it last week. I have a Mom as you described – lucky us!! I would like to be that mom for my children, but my problem is this: when my teenagers behave in a way that is disrespectful, how do I show my extreme disappointment in a way that shows I love them, but I do not want to spend any time with them during these episodes??
If you can answer this in a way that I can implement, I will be forever grateful.
Best to you – Julie