Fragile and Tested

“I’m certain it wasn’t malicious…” I assured my husband while we cleaned up the kitchen after dinner.

I was recounting a meeting I’d had earlier in the day in which I’d left the conversation feeling small and discouraged.

“I know they meant no harm…” I assured the LORD as I brushed my teeth and got ready for bed. “I know they only want what’s best for all…”

“This is nothing to lose sleep over…” I assured my wide-awake self in the dead of night as the entire episode looped on repeat through my thoughts. “They were only doing what they thought to be right…”

Only I wasn’t sure. I felt myself growing bitter and cold. I felt a darkening – a hardening –  a shutting down.

Our Father, lead me not into temptation.
Help me pass the test.
Help me to forgive.

I picked my daughter up from high-school and it was obvious she’d been crying.

Between the tears, she haltingly recounted a scenario from earlier in the day that had left her feeling small and discouraged and understandably angry.

I could taste her bitterness and feel her holy heat. And at the same time, I could see her darkening and closing. I understood all too well the desire to grow cold – to do unto another as they’ve done to you.

I let her cry. It was no time for spiritual lessons.

Our Father, lead her not into temptation.
Help her pass the test.
Help her to forgive.

How many times have I caused another to feel small and discouraged?

Father, forgive me.

When have my own words or actions caused someone to lie awake while a cold and discouraging contempt stalked their rest?

Father, forgive me.

With whom have I not been more careful? Who has left my presence unsure that I have their best interest at heart?

Father, forgive me.

Shalom to you and yours today, friends, especially if you are feeling fragile and tested.

For your debts have been fully forgiven – you’ve been delivered from evil – and you’ve been adopted into the generous and abundant household of God.

Now go and do likewise.

Kim

2 responses to Fragile and Tested

  1. Love this. I think God allows some of this pain in our lives so that we know how it feels, thereby making us more aware and cautious in our own interactions with others. People won’t likely remember what I say to them, but will never forget how I made them feel. I can’t undo my many past mistakes but pray I will extend the love and grace of God going forward.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.