Sixteen or Sixty: Thoughts on Love

“What’s the purpose of marriage?” I asked a murmuration of teenage starlings. “Why would anyone want to get married these days?” Predicting where a conversation might go with a flock of high-school women usually looks and feels like this to me: “What’s the main goal of marriage, in your opinion?” I repeated as they settled into their formations. “You might marry one day, or you might not, but despite what happens to you personally, is there any substantial benefit to the world because marriageRead more

Givers and Takers (thoughts on men)

We have it good, don’t we? In our country, we can dress how we like, speak our minds freely, and are beholden to no-one. If we have a dream, we can go for it. We can marry, or not. We can stay right here in our own hometown, or move to where the grass is greener. When it comes to our freedoms, we have very little to complain about. Except for men! We feel very free to complain about men.Read more

No strings attached

What do you love about yourself? If you ever want to immediately silence a room, or have every speck of lint picked off the carpet, pose that question – as I did – to a group of women sitting on the living room floor. What is it about yourself that you really, really like? A minute passes by awkwardly. They might not know what it is about themselves that they love, but I get the feeling they really don’t prefer me right now. HowRead more

“Why do you people want to see this?”

“Why do you people want to see this?” he says testily. He’s upset, and rightly so: death has been crouching foul in the corner all morning. I stand there feeling small and stung, the honest truth in his question deserves an answer. “Why? Why do you want to come all the way over here to see this?” he continues, not unkindly, “So you can go back and say you’ve seen a man die?” He is a true friend – IRead more

People Beets

I have an affinity for beets. Humble on the outside, they are an epicurean beauty queen once you get to second base. When you take the time to scrub away the grit and remove the old-man strands of hair (that by the way are no more attractive on the chin of a beet as they are an old man), you truly have a vegetable deserving of a tiara. Who would ever think that such a stunning natural beauty could ever lieRead more

That Kind of Woman (if you want to be a better wife)

“The best way to run faster… is to run faster.” I’m sure I said this at some point every speed workout during the last decade.  How annoying if you happened to be present at every one.  I’m really sorry ’bout that, but I can’t promise I won’t say it again at the next one. Because it’s true. I can’t tell you how many athletes I’ve had the opportunity to coach, who somehow think that they can run a faster timeRead more

The Ella LOVE Experiment

On February 1, 2011, I received an anonymous note informing me that for that whole month, I was going to be showered with love. Just because. True enough, for the whole month of February, I would walk out to my back patio each morning and discover a carefully wrapped gift waiting for me. Imagine!  A whole month! Even as I write this, I look around and see some of those gifts displayed about the farmhouse.  We didn’t bring many personalRead more