While We Still Wait

It’s been so long since you were light-hearted. God knows you try not to worry, to wait patiently, to be thankful in all the other things. Will this be my lot in life?  You still wonder in the dark. Will there be any joy left for me? You struggle to pray. For what? What is it you are actually praying for? What is it that you want God to do? You can change this if you want to, Father. Your prayers loopRead more

Weary Of Myself

My spirit alternates between languishing and struggling. It’s hard to write in this state as I don’t trust myself when I’m so self-absorbed. Too much introspection is not a good thing; I wearied of myself days ago. I notice the signs that point to my brand of blue melancholy. If they were neon and blinking, the signs could not be any more obvious. My sense of humor has packed up and left in the night. My smile is anemic. EverythingRead more

Alone? Or Just Lonely?

I am alone again, and realizing that I don’t do alone very well. I am struggling to pray or write, to find the good.  My mind is foggy for all the silence that stretches out before me this week.  Any focus I manage to muster is soft and my generosity is exceedingly thin. There have been days and weeks in recent memory where I begged God for some solitude, a little respite from the needs and noise of others.  Please,Read more

Everything you might never want to know (about gnats)

“How big is your infestation?” Are these not some of the scariest words you might ever hear? “It could have qualified as an eleventh plague” I reply into the phone, “There is a cloud of biblical proportions everywhere I go.” Then Mike, the chatty bug expert, walks me through the entire life cycle of this particular species of gnat, commonly known as a fruit fly. Being early fall, you might be well acquainted with them, too? Mike brightly details everything I wouldRead more