Friendship has been on my mind lately.
Specifically, “What does it look like to be a friend?”
Much of my life I’ve hoped to do amazing things for God. By this I mean, I’ve readied myself to do amazing things in amazing ways: all with God’s help (of course). Please note the emphasis on my amazing amazing-ness, and quite a bit less-so on Gods’ help.
I’ve been willing to be an ambassador for God’s kingdom, to be compelling and courageous, to speak and teach with conviction, and to somehow leave a beautiful mark on the world: all in His name (of course). I’ve even prayed for my life to make a statement, to be distinctly different, and to pave the way (big sigh) so others might know God better.
Right-0, then.
Wow.
Can I just get over myself already?
Just to get the facts straight: I love Jesus, but I can also be an amazing fool (<—Kim).
God doesn’t need me to help him, um, ever. He doesn’t need me to attract others to himself, to save his souls, to speak on his behalf, or defend him in any way. Big spoiler alert: it doesn’t depend on me at all, and it doesn’t come down to me, or you, in the end. If it did – even a little bit – how could we sleep at night?
The real truth is that it’s God’s amazing and true story. He‘s the hero. He saves the day. He is compelling. He is beautiful. It’s His passion and action that has paved the way so that we might be with him in this life and the next.
So what does this have to do with friendship?
Mysteriously, God wraps us all up in his astounding story for the world. Nothing in life is random, including and especially, the wonder of friendship. God has carefully planted certain people in our space and time for a reason. He knits our hearts and lives together so that we will trust him more, enjoy him more, and know him rightly.
Q. Where is the best place to be amazing, saints?
A. Be a friend who puts her trust in the LORD.
Looking back over time, there has been wide range of people who have helped me to believe and trust in a good God, by simply being my friend. I started to make a list of their most common attributes, only to realize there must be a thousand-and-one ways God shows himself through the bonds of friendship.
I don’t usually ask for feedback on this blog, but would you take a minute and consider your friendships over the years? Who has God put in your life? What are the common attributes of those particular friends, especially the ones that have caused you trust and enjoy the LORD ever more?
Can you add your friends’ attributes to my starter-list of what it looks like to be a friend?
- She is generally cheerful.
- He speaks truth with gentleness and care.
- She is not demanding.
- She doesn’t need you-and-a-movie, or you-and-a-party.
- He gives you the benefit of the doubt.
- He encourages you to forgive; reminds you of how much you’ve been forgiven.
- She helps find the good.
- She doesn’t deny the bad or the ugly; neither does she despair it.
- She leaves you with fresh hope.
- He introduces a new perspective.
- She thinks you’re beautiful.
- She is not easily offended, alarmed, or provoked.
- She speaks respectfully of your spouse, and hers.
- He defends those who aren’t in the room.
- He is not afraid of tomorrow.
- Her first response is grace.
- He likes to laugh.
- She sees you for the woman you hope to eventually be.
- She makes you want to be better.
- ….
- ….
- …
I’d love to see what you add to the list.
Peace to you and yours, through the One who has called us ‘friend’,
Kim
Given Breath 
…she knows how you take your coffee (:
…she doesn’t keep score..who did what last..
…she arrives to help without being asked..
…she is always your “fan”..
Yes! Awesome.
She is always ‘for’ you.
Thank you!
Kim,
I love all of your posts and read them with gusto.
She is there……..
Rebecca
Kim, Wonderful words. A couple more to add…. She listens. She gives great hugs.
Blessings, Sonya
Sent from my iPad
She is there, indeed. I am glad you are here:)
HUGS! The full-body, squeeze-until-you-can-hardly-breathe-type of hugs! Yes!
Thanks, Sonya:)
He/she accepts you with your good points and bad, and encourages you to be the best you can be. He/she walks with you, through highs and lows, and loves you still. He/She can make you smile.
She keeps you grounded
Friends always forgive…
I think about you often my dear friend and love you much.
Sounds like you’ve had some good friends in your life, Gaynor:)
Thanks for the note…
Amen, sista!
Q. How many people have a precious friend who lives in Madagascar?????
A. Me!!!
Yes – the best friends can forgive. Miss you, love you more.
Q: Who meets all the attributes you listed?
A: Kim Hall
Q: What comes to mind first on attributes of a friend?
A:
speaks and acts with integrity,
honest,
one hour or one year later-you can pick up where you left off
….can sit in UNawkward silence for indefinite amounts of time
you can be YOU around them
Well put, Kim. Something Adina and I recently read ties in nicely: “It is vital that you understand God’s desire to make himself known to humanity through the relationships of the Kingdom… God continues to create on earth that which reveals himself, and God is best revealed through relationship. What meaning would such dimensions of God’s nature as love, mercy, faithfulness and even power, have outside of relationship to some other being? Much of the significance of the Trinity — Father, Son, and Holy Spirit — resides in the fact that the relationships between these three persons so effectively reveal much of God’s multidimensional character to us.” (Paul Olson in The Distinctively Christian Marriage) Blessings!
I love this list of attributes, too. Let me expand it with: A friend stirs your heart to worship God.
Yes! The sweetest friendships are truly outside the restraints and binds of time. It’s as if our hearts have always known each other, and will always know each other. I am convinced that what begins on earth continues into heaven…
Thanks for the note.
Dan! What a treat to “see” you after all this time:)
I love that God is an “agent” God. That he rarely just does things all by himself — and almost always uses other people to carry out his beautiful, and eternal purposes.
Paul Olsen’s book sounds awesome!
Thanks for the note!
Yes! Totally agree. Who they are – and who they are becoming – moves my heart to worship the One who made them so exactly “just right”. Preach it!
My friends that helped me know the Lord better always welcomed me BEFORE I proved to them that I was worth getting to know. They were always glad to see me and interested in me even though I was not terribly outgoing, smart, or funny.
You are right! My friends are the exact ones who aren’t interested in how totally awesome I am…they just like me because they kind of have to. Like God said, “Come on guys, give a girl a hand, here! I know she’s a little goofy and says things at inappropriate times, but, you’re the only one for her!”
Thanks, RB!